The Handoff Count · Free · Ten Minutes
Written for the woman who keeps calling herself lazy while doing the work of two people
How To Find Out In Ten Minutes Why The Last Four Years Have Felt Impossible (And Why It Was Never Your Discipline)
What if the reason nothing sticks isn't that you're failing — it's that nobody ever counted what you're carrying? Do “The Handoff Count” and get the number nobody has ever asked you for.
Free. One printable page. A pen and ten minutes.
Every household runs on invisible handoffs
He put the news on in the morning. He took the 3am shift. He walked in at six and you exhaled. He handled the trash, the oil change, the “can you get her, I've got him.”
You never counted them. You didn't have to.
Then he was gone — and it wasn't one loss. It was dozens of them, all at once, every day.
Everyone asked how your heart was doing while you stood in the kitchen at 6am trying to figure out who signs the permission slip now.
You've been told you're strong. You've been told to heal. Nobody has ever handed you a piece of paper and said: let's find out what you're actually carrying.
This is that piece of paper.
What you'll count
Check every box that used to be his.
Seven sections. Most women are surprised by the first five and undone by the last two.
Morning — Before 8am
- First one awake
- Breakfast and lunches
- Hair, teeth, shoes
…and more
Kids & Logistics
- Being in two places at once
- Sick days
- Permission slips and forms
…and more
House & Maintenance
- Trash and recycling
- Car — gas, oil, tires
- Anything that breaks
…and more
The 6 O'Clock Hour
- Walking in so someone could exhale
- Dinner — deciding it
- The tag-out when you lost your temper
…and more
Money & Admin
- A second income
- Bills, budget, taxes
- Being the second signature
…and more
The Ones Nobody Counts
- “What do you think?”
- Someone asking how your day was
- Twenty minutes off duty
…and more
Then you get your number
And find out what it means.
Under 20
You're either early, or you're still undercounting. Go back through it once more.
20 to 35
You are running a two-person operation with one person, and this page explains a lot.
Over 35
You are not disorganized. You are understaffed. And you've been calling it a character flaw.
The rest is on the page — along with the three things to do next.
How it works
Ten minutes. One pen. No homework.
1
Print it
Pop in your name and email. The Count downloads the second you hit the button, and a copy lands in your inbox.
2
Count it
Check every box that used to be somebody else's. Add up the checks. Write down the three that hurt the most.
3
Read it
Your number tells you what's actually been going on. Hint: it was never your discipline.
Who I am
I was widowed at 43 with three kids under eight.
I also have an MBA, I built a physician's practice from the ground up, and I've led a team of forty for sixteen years.
I'm not a therapist and I'm not a grief coach. Therapy works on your heart. I work on your Tuesday.
Tanya Tylutki
This isn't for you if you want someone to tell you to try harder. You are out of harder. This is for finding out what you've been carrying — so we can finally put some of it down.